A girl goes to church and tells the Preist "I am pregnant" The priest is shocked "You have always been such a fine young lady, how could you let this happen??" The girl responds "I am convinced that its the second coming, Father." "The second coming? Have you taken leave of your senses? What could possibly make you believe that it is the second coming???" "Because I swallowed the first..." A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. I tried to get in touch with my inner child, but he's not allowed to talk to strangers. I take everything with a grain of salt. Now I have high blood pressure. I laugh in the face of danger........................unless I'm involved. Integrity is everything. I'll sell you mine for fifty bucks. They told me I was gullible....................and I believed them. I'll tell you who's famous for his foibles. Aesop. I...